Crying on the way to work

Not the best way to start the day.

Why was I crying? My favorite radio show, The Free Beer and Hotwings Show is doing their annual "holiday break-ins" right now. People will nominate their friends and family who are down on their luck to have a "break-in" done. The show will go in and essentially deliver Christmas where one didn't exist before due to hard times.

This morning they gave them a new mini-van. It was a single Dad with three young kids and he couldn't provide because he spent all his money fixing up his car and then the car died. He had been left by two different women who left him with the kids. Wow. It was so emotional to hear the letter that was sent in by their sponsor and to know that with this mini-van the Dad can get to work and hopefully give this family the boost they need.

The show does not take any credit for it. They don't leave any type of note. I can't imagine this Dad and kids coming home today and seeing presents that just covered the living room floor and a new mini-van in the driveway. Amazing.

It made me feel so lucky for all that we have. We have jobs, a warm house and food on our table. I also love hearing that there are good, generous people and companies out there. I know this show can't help everyone that wrote in, but they changed this family in a huge way.

Weekend activities

I was thrilled that when I got home on Friday night we did have our electricity back. It was out most of the day Friday so the condo was a little cold, but at least we had lights. Some of the state is still without and poor New Hampshire was slammed.

The most important reason I needed electricity Friday night was I had to make my mother a birthday cake! It was also a fabulous reason to use my new Kitchenaid Mixer that was a wonderfully generous wedding gift!

The cake turned out alright, I certainly could use some help in the decorating department, but it tasted pretty good. I am also (always) proud of my homemade butter cream frosting. No jar stuff here! (I really can't believe I'm actually sharing this photo).

The craft stores around here offer some cake decorating classes. I might sign myself up for one at some point when (if) things slow down. Until then, this is what I can do. It's not much, but at least Mom (who always does the cakes) had a homemade birthday cake that she didn't have to make. (She was thrilled with it).

Sunday we made our way up to Fryeburg for Jacob's third birthday party. I must remember that three year olds are obsessed with dump trucks that move and make noise. We got him a huge fire engine (which he also liked), but those dump trucks were great. I hear his fleet will be growing at Christmas and I know he'll be excited. We always have so much fun when we visit Mitchel and Courtney, we just don't get up there very often.

This week will be all about Christmas shopping! I have some ideas for almost everyone...we'll see what happens!

Ice storm!

Certainly not as bad as "THE" ice storm of '98, but it certainly is icy. We lost power this morning at about 7:30am, but I'm sure it will be on when I get home from work. We live so close to a major intersection in Gray where six roads converge (at two street lights) that it basically has to get fixed.

Pat is working in Standish today. I thought he would have been really busy this morning with calls due to trees down and downed power lines, but he hasn't.

This weekend is very busy, we have two birthday gatherings both Saturday and Sunday. Saturday is my Mom's birthday and I need to bake her a cake tonight. Sunday we're headed to Fryeburg for Jacob's third birthday. Unfortunately we won't be able to stay long since Pat has to work both Saturday & Sunday nights from 6pm-6am at Cumberland.

Well, since I can't think of anything else to write about, have a great weekend everyone!

The Details

It's been a month?

Wow, I really suck. So what has been so pressing that it has been keeping me from blogging?

Life.

Poignant as that may sound, it's the truth. Work has become increasingly busy, which is not all bad. Pat has been home more, which is all good.

We are still looking at houses. This weekend we looked at four and have one more on our radar to look at soon. One is a gorgeous new construction and one is a house that will need a lot of TLC. Both have their plusses and minuses.

But are we there yet? Are we ready to buy a house? No. Not yet. I still say it will be around 9 months. I think we'll start seriously looking in May and buy at the end of summer. I hope the market will still be in our favor at that time...I have a feeling it will be.

I have finally changed my name with Social Security and with DMV. In a week or so I'll have my new license and I'll be able to update banks, credit cards, loans etc. While I am excited about having the same last name as Pat, it's truly a surreal thing to just become someone else.

We have our professional pictures from the wedding finally. I am very happy with them. I feel there are some important ones that she missed and didn't fully "get" me when I told her I wanted a bazillion 'detail' pictures, but overall they are wonderful.

Here's a taste:

This weekend we did some organizing in the house. Still a long way to go, but it's getting there.

We also visited an open house in Gorham. It's a nice house, but it's not right for us. It's 3 small bedrooms and one bath. Very little storage in the basement due to the garage. Overall it's just not what we're looking for.

Here's a picture of the house. Nice, just not exactly what we need. Not to mention for just slightly more there are better houses out there. For now we're just planning on hitting up all the open houses in Gorham to really get a good feel for what's available in our price range.

Pat has his wisdom teeth out on Thursday. I need to take the day off to drive him and be home in case he needs anything. I hope everything goes well.

I am anxious/nervous about the election tomorrow. Pat and I decided we need to look for land in Canada if things don't go the way we're hoping.

Lazy Saturday

Just sitting home on a Saturday. Pat's working in Gorham and I'm relaxing. I've done a little cleaning, but it feels good to just relax. I have been so busy at work that my brain just really needs a break.

Two days before our wedding my company was purchased by a new start up company. Luckily I still have a job. Unluckily there was a ton of work that needed to be done quickly. I had to set up a whole new general ledger system and new processes for everything. It was great to have some interesting work to do again, but it was frustrating because I felt like I was so behind.

However, now I am basically caught up and it feels great. I am excited about the new company and about the new systems we've got in place. I have almost the full control over the day to day retail business (the Walmarts and Walgreens etc) so that's exciting as well. I really want to take the retail side and own it. Run it better than it has ever been run and really stay on top of things. I have this new drive to be a great employee.

The other piece of my "post wedding" life is that I need to focus on the CPA exam. This is something I'd like to have out of the way in the next two years or so. I need to get some study materials and get to work. It will be tough, but I will get it done.

Part 3!

So we piled in the limo and headed to Martindale. I'm still not sure if it had sunk in yet that yes, we were married. When we got there we stayed downstairs for a while and tried to get some pictures. I'm not overly optimistic that any of them will be any good. It was raining and crappy and I just wasn't feeling it - but we'll see.

We went upstairs and our DJ immediately came out and got ready to introduce us. He lined us up and it was awesome. The bridal party walked into the Eye of the Tiger song and Pat and I got introduced to Shipping up to Boston by the Dropkick Murphys. People loved it! My Aunt Jackie said her favorite part was our introduction and when I raised my bouquet in the air.

From there we went right into our first dance. We chose Corey Smith's song "First Dance" and it was perfect. You probably haven't heard it - but you can do a search for him on youtube or facebook and hear it. It's worth it and perfect for our fall wedding! We did an abbreviated fox trot and I guess I'm glad we did that rather than just sway back and forth. I don't think we looked super professional or anything, but I hope we didn't look like fools.

After that we sat down to eat. The head table was served by the waitstaff and everyone else was dismissed to get food table by table. The food was delicious - what little I ate of it. I was too anxious to get up and talk to everyone. I let Pat have a few bites and then I dragged him around to the tables. This wasn't planned, but it just felt right.

Once we were finished with that I danced with Dad. He had chosen a Paul Anka song to dance to and then Pat and his mom danced to a Kermit the Frog song - The Rainbow Connection. Two groomsmen also went to get his aunts and danced with them during it as well - it was planned and cute.

After that we had open dancing for about an hour. I was SHOCKED how many people were out on that floor, it was seriously rocking. Everyone was just having such a blast, I was thrilled. People were drinking and laughing and dancing and it was just great.

We cut the cake after about an hour and we were nice to each other - no smashing for us! People tried to egg us on, but we weren't having it. The cake was delicious! We only got the one bite, but later in the night I had one of the waitresses find us each a piece so we could enjoy some cake and down time.

After that we just danced, danced, danced. We wound down around 9:30 and that was long enough considering the ceremony was at 2pm. I think if it was a nicer night people might have stayed later, but it was raining so we didn't get to use the deck that I was excited about. I hardly noticed, I promise. Nothing was getting me down that day...and there were certainly a number of things that went wrong!!

We didn't have a car at the reception so my parents drove us to the hotel, even though we were both stone cold sober. Once we got to the hotel I just crashed. We had a ton of friends staying there though, so we hung out with them for a while. But when you're sober and tired and everyone else is drunk it just isn't that much fun.

Pat and I went back to our room, lit the fire and got in the jacuzzi. It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.

**If I'm forgetting anything or you have questions or want clarification just leave me a comment!**

Wedding part two

So on the limo finally showed up and we got in to head to the ceremony. I was sitting sideways and I'm not sure if it was car sickness, or hunger, or nerves or what, but I got a little sick. I think it was a combination of the three. Addie luckily had some water and I was able to calm down.

When we got to the church and saw the parking lot I got very emotional. I actually said "wow, all these people are here for us". It was overwhelming - more than a normal Sunday mass and it choked me up. I started seeing all the cars of all of our friends and family and I got so excited. Luckily nobody could see us in the limo.

Eventually Mom had to get out and see what the status was. At that time Pat's mom came over to say hello. She told me that she had a moment with Pat a few minutes before and she had made him cry. The church doors were open so I could see the groomsmen and I was getting so excited!

It seemed like before I knew it I was getting out of the limo and into the entryway of the church. It was so surreal. I saw Pat across the way so I rushed off to the side. I had the girls fluff out my dress and attached myself to Dad's arm. I saw Pat walk down with his best man and the priest and he looked very emotional. I was shocked that I didn't lose it!

Soon the music started and the mothers were being sat. Next it was the bridesmaids turn and then it was just Dad and I. We were both adamant that we weren't going to cry. It was tough! The music started in and we entered the church. I remember seeing everyone stand up and I was a little overwhelmed. I remember seeing Kenny & Carla and Addie's parents and then I looked at Pat. He looked so handsome standing up there.

We reached the front of the church and Dad was kissing me and shaking Pat's hand and then he put my hand in Pat's hand. It was so sweaty!! I have never felt him have sweaty hands before. He was a little emotional, but we didn't have much time to enjoy it. The priest said a few words to us to calm us down and we were off!

The ceremony was wonderful. Erica and Pat's dad did our readings and Father Murray did an awesome job with the homily. When it came time for vows, Pat messed his up a little and I basically forgot mine. Father Murray needed to prompt me a little and I think my voice broke a little. I also know that I wasn't very loud, it's hard to say those sacred words loudly!

The rings were on, the first kiss happened, the blessing was next, communion was fast and we were married! I can't wait to see the ceremony pictures because it was such a blur to me. While I was totally in the moment during the reception I really thought the ceremony flew by. A total blur. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. I thought it was perfect.

Before I knew it we were walking down the aisle and people were clapping for us. We did a quick receiving line in the narthex, but it went by really fast. I really enjoyed seeing everyone right then, although it did feel a little rushed. I think I was just reeling from it all.

After the receiving line we did some pictures in the church, but we didn't do enough. I wish I had been more organized with the pictures. See, I thought we were having two photographers so they'd be all over everything. Then we ended up with one and I should have been more organized to ensure everything was covered. We did get one with Pat's Mom's side of the family, but no other big wedding party pictures. We also got VERY few full wedding party pictures and that's sad. I would have liked a few more. My brain just wasn't in it.

Next it was off to Martindale for the reception! Stay tuned for part three!

Wedding Recap #1

The days leading up to the wedding were insane. Between getting everything to Martindale and trying to get everything done I was just exhausted. I think I was running on pure adrenaline.

On Friday we needed to bring the last load of stuff to Martindale and set up the candy buffet. They failed to tell me there was a meeting at 3pm in our room so we had to rush and get it done before then. After that we rushed home to shower before the rehearsal dinner (RD). I was supposed to meet my bridesmaid, Deb, at the hotel before the RD, but there wasn't any time for me to check in. She checked in for me and then we scooped her up on the way to the rehearsal.

Of course people were late to the rehearsal and that ticked me off. I don't know what is so difficult about planning ahead, but some people just don't get it. The rehearsal was nice. Father Murray did a great job of having everything organized and it ran very smoothly. Everyone understood their jobs and it was great.

After the rehearsal we went over to Espo's for the dinner. Mom had made Pat an ambulance cake and it was pretty cute. Everyone got a kick out of it and it tasted great. The dinner was awesome, food was excellent. Pat loved his gifts (socks for cold feet, bailey's for really cold feet, a compass to find his way to the church and a Citizen watch so he wouldn't be late). He gave me a 32GB itouch that I love! Our bridal party loved all their gifts and we quickly thanked everyone for being a part of our day.

Unfortunately Pat's groomsmen seemed to want to stay and drink (on us) so we had to kick them out eventually. I needed to get back to the hotel to sleep! I was staying at the hotel with Deb and Pat was staying at the condo. He stopped by the hotel and it was actually sad saying good night to him. Before he left we practiced our first dance in the courtyard, it was pretty cute.

Deb and I stayed up until around midnight and I actually slept pretty good that night. I think exhaustion had set in! I woke up around 6:30am and then finally got out of bed around 7am. Of course my sister called to tell me she was running late meeting us for our hair appointments. We arranged just to meet her at Orbit Salon.

We got to the salon and everyone started getting all beautified. My sister didn't end up being late at all, which was good. I thought she was just going to get her hair done as a blow out, but she ended up with an updo. I'm not sure the person listened to her and that's my only complaint with the salon. It seems that they heard "wedding" and automatically thought "updo" and did what they wanted without listening to anyone. I didn't like Mom's hair so we had to tame it down at the hotel when we got back there. However, after three discussions with my stylist (Hillary) we finally got on the same page and I liked my hair.

Back at the hotel it was kind of chaos. The photographer missed the hotel (although I'm not sure how that was even possible since it's huge). Mom couldn't figure out how to lace me in, not entirely her fault since she had never done it by herself before. But she screwed it up twice, which really delayed us. Dad showed up on time, but I wasn't ready. I then realized the limo wasn't there, so I had Deb call Pat to find out about that. He had confirmed the limo the day before, but when he called that morning they had a pickup time of 2:30 instead of 12:30. Talk about pissed!

So once I was dressed I had to get in the back of Mom & Dad's car to head to Martindale. I debated about skipping going there, but we couldn't do pictures at the hotel since Pat was there getting ready with his groomsmen and I needed to drop off the scoops for the candy buffet.

At Martindale we took some group pictures and made sure everything was being set up properly. It looked great and I was very happy with everything. I hope we got some good pictures there, despite the rain. However, I couldn't relax because of the limo. They assured us they would be there (Martindale) to take us to the church, but time was ticking and I was stressing. I made Deb call one more time and luckily they had just driven by the road and were turning around.

What is with vendors that don't have good directions??

Ok, that's part one. I'll continue with the ceremony next!

I've been a bad blogger. :(

The weeks leading up to the wedding were just insane. I was so busy with all kinds of last minute projects that I never had time to do much other than wedding stuff. Work was also insane because we were purchased two days before the wedding.

However, now I am home. The wedding is over. The honeymoon (Royal Caribbean cruise) is over. Both were beyond amazing. The wedding was perfect and better than I envisioned and the cruise was a ton of fun, couldn't have been better.

So now what? Back to the real world. No more wedding projects. No more planning. No more travel preparations.

I still need to officially change my name. Hopefully I'll get to that soon. We're in the process of figuring out what to do with our money. Once we looked everything over we have more than we thought we did (a nice problem to have).

So I'll try and update more and be a better blogger.

Getting nervous?

One of my readers asked if I was getting nervous yet. The answer is kind of twofold.

I am absolutely not nervous to marry Pat. I've never felt more sure of anything in my life. We just click. We get each other. Things are easy with each other. Obviously I'm 30, I've had numerous relationships. Some long (4 years), some short. Based on that I feel like I have knowledge to weed out the good and bad. We're good. We're really good.

Does that mean we'll be this good forever? I hope so. However, I know people change. Circumstances change. Life has bumps in the road. It's not going to be easy. What I feel about Pat and I is that we're committed to going through all those changes and bumps in the road together. This marriage isn't just something we're doing, it's something we're becoming. Something we're being.

So what am I nervous about? I am nervous about the wedding itself. I am nervous about being in front of all our friends and family. I am nervous about the reception not flowing the way I imagine it happening. I am nervous that people won't have a good time. I'm nervous about not getting all my projects done.

So what I'm nervous about are just the logistical items.

About being married - I'm nervous about combining our money. This will be a very huge change for me and it scares me a little. Pat and I are both very responsible with money (now) and we're totally on the same page with everything so I know it will be fine.

So that's it. Not nervous about being married...just a little nervous about the 'getting' married part!

The blogging world...

Do you ever feel like you actually know people out there across the country (maybe the world) because of their blogs? I do. As I mentioned in my first post, I've had a blog on another site for more than four years. I've had faithful readers during that time and I've also read other blogs daily. I truly feel like I know these people.

I'm also a very active member on a message board and I feel like I know the 'regular' posters over there as well. Can you really develop real friendships that are purly web based? I think you can. I care as much about the well being of a lot of these people as I do about my friends in my day to day life.

Just something I was thinking about this morning.

Wednesday...

I haven't been very good at blogging lately. I would assume that has to do with the fact that all I've been doing lately is working on our invitations. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love them...but I'll be glad when they're finished. Of course that just means I'll move on to the next project...

That brings me to something I've been saying a lot lately..."after the wedding".
"After the wedding" we'll clean the basement.
"After the wedding" we'll organize the closet.
"After the wedding" we'll eat at home more often.

You get the idea. There are so many things to do FOR the wedding that need to be done first that our "real" life has taken a backseat. Sad, really.

But it's only 73 days away now and everything will then return to normal. I hope.

Crazy weekend.

Man, what an exhausting weekend.

Pat was away this weekend so I thought I'd have some time for myself. Wrong.

Friday night was good - I was able to work on our invitations and I actually stayed up until almost midnight cutting out all the inserts. I got a phone call at 1:15am and it was Amy. They were stuck in Michigan and she was wondering if I could pick her up at 8am in Boston. Well, of course I did. So I tried to call Pat to let him know what was going on, but he didn't answer. I finally fell back to sleep. Then he called about 2:30 to figure out what was going on. I finally got back to sleep. At 4:45 I was wide awake, knowing I had to get up at 5am anyway.

By 5:40 I was on the road - the gas station actually opened early for me. How nice.

I arrived at Logan Airport at about 7:30. It was a nice drive down, there certainly weren't many people on the road that early on a Saturday morning. Amy and Luis arrived on time and we were off to Casco to deliver them to her Mom.

When Amy walked in her Mom was very surprised and glad to see her. It was quite emotional. Linda isn't doing well, but at least she knew who we all were. I think she's in a lot of pain and very uncomfortable. It's so hard to see her like that and know that Saturday may have been the last time I'll see her.

After that emotional visit I drove to Monmouth for Alaina's baby shower! It was fun to see her family again and they got a lot of nice stuff for the baby! They also got me our spice rack off our registry for a bridal shower gift! I'm so excited - I love it and it's the same one Alaina has! Now that we've pushed back the shower date Alaina might be able to make it if she goes early with the baby.

As exhausted as I was, I met up with Julie, Devon and Lavonah for dinner. I probably wasn't the best company since I was so tired and I also sort of felt like an outsider because they all know each other a lot better than I do. But I need more girlfriends so I hope we do it again soon.

Yesterday I went to Mass and then to visit with Gram, Mom and the Aunts. After lunch I finally went back home to work on the invitations. I got a ton of matting cut out and I love how it all looks. I'm really proud of these invitations. I hope everyone else loves them as much as I do. I know...they're only paper and they'll get thrown away. But still...I love them.

This morning I thought I broke my heel. I was walking down to the basement and when I stepped off the stairs my heel came down on my rollerblade wheel and it immediately hurt so badly I almost threw up. The pain was so intense. When I got upstairs I realized why - I am now sporting a HUGE blood blister on my heel. It's nasty and painful - it seriously hurts with each step. I actually contemplated not even coming to work today it's so bad. Gross.

Anyway, I hope you all had a good weekend! I'm going to try to blog more like I used to.

Three months!

Wow, it's sure getting close now! Three months from right now I'll probably be exhausted at the reception and I'll be a Mrs! I can't wait to be Pat's wife, as cheesy as that may sound.

Pat's gone this weekend. He's working in Fryeburg and North Conway and he's also working the NASCAR race in Louden, NH this weekend. I have to admit - I'm kind of jealous of that one!

I'll be working on our invitations all weekend. I really love them so it's kind of fun putting them together. I can't wait to see them all finished! I just need to figure out how to adhere the ribbon...I'm sure I can come up with something!

Sad News

I just found out today that my best friend's Mom has about three weeks to live. Linda (Amy's mom) has been like a second mom to me my whole life. For 29 years our parents have lived next door to each other and our mothers have been the best of friends. I feel so awful about this - I've never known that someone has X amount of time left. It's just hard.

I know Mom and I will go see her at some point. I believe she'll be in a hospice until the end and this is just so hard for me to accept and understand. I know she has been sick, but it's hard to know that this is really the end.

What's also so difficult is that Amy is 9 months pregnant in California. She's due 7/28. Her doctor has cleared her to fly home, but I don't know if she will or not. I personally can't imagine not coming home to say goodbye to my Mom, but she also has to think about the her health and that of her unborn baby. Such a tough decision. I don't know what I would do.

Linda has had diabetes ever since I have known her. She's been going downhill quickly over the past month and they found out that her liver is basically all cancer at this point. There is nothing they can do, she just isn't well enough. Oh, it's just so so so sad.

Invitation land

That's where I'm living these days. I'm eating, sleeping, breathing invitations. For a while I was stuck on the design. Now that I've worked that out, I'm stuck on whether or not to put a matting layer on it.

Part of me loves the simple look of it. The other part loves the regal look of a mat. The other part of me thinks that the 100lb cardstock for the inserts feels too flimsy by itself. Oh the dilemmas!

I swear, I can't even answer normal wedding questions these days without these invitations popping into my head. I am currently (like right this minute) supposed to be printing out the inserts, but I'm not.

Jaime, why aren't you? Because I can't decide on the matting. If I do mats I'll have to make the inserts smaller. So what good would printing be at this point?

Ok, I am making a decision tonight, one way or another.

First post here

I've been a blogger for more than four years. I have put out every mundane and embarrassing detail of my life for the world to see. Some has been humorous, some boring, some sad. But that's life. That's my life.

Now I need a fresh start. I'm not going to give up the old blog and in fact, most posts will probably be double posted. But I'm not that person that I was four and a half years ago. I need a new blog to start the next chapter of my life.

By my next chapter I mean planning our wedding, getting married, being married and raising a family. I suppose that's not so much a chapter as a whole book in itself.

So here I am.

I'm Jaime. My fiance is Patrick (Pat). We're getting married in 96 days.

Come along for the ride.